PRO-ACTIVE PARENTING

New Oakland believes strongly in a pro-active parenting approach to help in raising a successful child. Pro-active parenting is supportive, planned action parenting that empowers the child, parent, and family. A key component is “responding” instead of “reacting” to the child and his/her behavior. In responsive rather than reactive parenting, there is forethought and planned interaction with the child. Pro-active parenting involves promotion of the child’s growth and learning, not just immediate parental control.

Pro-active parenting requires the development of particular parenting skills. These include providing boundaries, limits and external controls, avoiding power struggles, fostering autonomy and decision making skills. Helping your child learn to plan, to set goals and then prioritize, follow through and accept the results is required. They will need to learn how to compromise, decline politely, delay their wants and needs.

Parenting is an investment, IS WORK, and takes skill. Once the basic skills are there it flows more smoothly. Taking time outs or giving yourself a chance to respond and not react is important. To avoid being reactive, have pre-determined rules and consequences. The manner in which parents talk to the child is important. Respect begets respect. Phrasing comments with minimal criticism or complaint takes effort and practice. You might say, “you usually do a very good job… is there a reason it is different for you today”?

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